When the whole world curses 'treacherous Russia', I will not curse her. How can I curse my own mother? I will be with her to eke out her bitter existence and only alone I will think 'we unhappy people, we unhappy people!' And perhaps no such Russia is needed at all? Is it possible that this is simply an obsolete term, which time will erase? Life is ineradicable. See more
There will not be 'Russia', but another, and 'young life will play at the entrance to the coffin'. But all the same, in the end, does it matter whose life it is: Russian or young German, the main thing is that life will remain, fields will remain and rivers will remain. And whose boats will travel the rivers - Russian or German - what does it matter? The German boat is even more useful. And people do not all disappear - one hundred million Vasilievs and Petrovs are not to be immediately annihilated. People will adapt! And what if there is, in fact, no need for Russia?
Today is one of the greatest and most joyous days for Russia. What a day!
Feeling rather despondent. Things at the newspaper are not so good, there is a lot of absurd editorial nonsense that would take too long to write about. Stupidity, too. This, together with the censorship, is making the paper very mediocre and childish. Too many sarcastic sketches. But we will continue to fight and not lose hope. I’m as stubborn as a mule in this sense: once I devote myself to something I don’t see anything else, and now, unless I am writing for Russkaya Volya or fighting with Russkaya Volya or talking about Russkaya Volya, I feel I have nothing to live for. It’s absurd!
It would seem that there’s a way of getting drunk without resorting to vodka: exhaustion and autosuggestion. Throughout these days I have been positively, genuinely drunk. I find it rather agreeable.
By my reckoning, 1917 will be my death year.