Unbelievable: do I, deep inside, really support lynching? (For a second, in each particular case.)
Maybe it's possible to forgive "Bolsheviks" for everything because of their work to achieve peace (if it happens).
A group of women has assembled around the newspaper man, on the corner. They were yelling: can this be any other way with our people? You can only do this with whips and bullets with them…
Weird: everything was calm, quiet, and good, and suddenly I started thinking of suicide.
My God! How I long for a true daylight, true sun, true day...
The situation in the city is highly uncertain. No one waiting anymore in expectation of “Kerensky and his forces” … Yesterday, there was terrible bloodshed. They lay siege to the cadet school (the “Red Guard” and the soldiers) and beat the cadets viciously. See more
People are saying terrible things. One’s blood turns cold in one’s veins. God! God! Be merciful toward us, the sinful, the unhappy, who have so forgotten You!
The same uncertainty. Almost all the newspapers are shut down. Those not yet closed ("Volya naroda"Will of the people"" and "Delo naroda"Business of the people"") are vehemently attacking the “Bolsheviks”… See more
It is reasonably calm on the streets. I was on Nevsky Prospect. At the City Duma, a crowd (not a very big one) surrounded the sailors (on duty), indignant at the violence and shamelessness of the “Bolsheviks”.
There was a confusing incident. In a crowd, I was mistaken for Kerensky. They started to shout something. It is very worrying in the city. There was confusion everywhere, all along the street, however, the movement is relatively large…
There’s terrible machinegun and artillery fire going on... Word is, they’re firing at the Winter Palace. I’ve been gripped by a kind of numbness… I feel pity for no one and nothing. But surely this cannot be possible! It’s temporary! Surely my heart can’t be forever benumbed! Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord! Save Russia.
Perhaps, this is all an illusion (absolutely everything).
I'm so alone, my God, so alone!
A more complete happiness cannot be fathomed, than that of a mother’s happiness as she kisses her still barely babbling child. God! God! God! My God! If life had turned out a little differently, how blessed those ways opened to me would be.
People are, essentially, so strange to me - especially the youth.