His Majesty came to see me with Alexei and Tatiana. They were very sweet. The Empress also said that she would return after five o’clock tea. I hugged the Emperor several times, and he kept kissing my hand... my heart was breaking. It’s the state of the army which aggrieves the Emperor above all; he doesn’t understand an army without discipline. The Emperor came later and spent two hours with me. See more
I was overwhelmed. She showed such affection. She understands that I’m leaving for the sake of the children, and hopes for a counterrevolutionary reaction all the same; alas, if there is one, it won’t be in their favour!
Joy is getting fatter, putting on 1/2 a pound every day. Soon he will probably burst.
During the night it again got worse; during the day squalls came up, but the sun was shining and there was a wet snow. During the morning I took a walk while Alexei played on the Island. Afterwards, I gave him a lesson in geography. During the day we worked on the ponds. Yesterday the ice successfully melted. The evening went as usual.
Today the Tsesarevich told me: “Father gave us an exam. He remained very unhappy and said: “What did you learn?”" The young girls offered their services as teachers, and the crowned parents followed their example. The Emperor took upon himself the task of teaching history and geography, the Empress - God’s law and German, Iza - English, Nastenka - the history of art and music. See more
This is very good, as it engages them and brings a cultural stream into their democratised way of life. This was even noticed by one of the junior officers, who alternately guard the Emperor. He believes that they have just come down from the pedestal, and the Sovereign will gradually get used to his present way of life, if only his habits, his walks, tea at five o’clock in the evening and other meals will be allowed to him.
Involuntarily I recalled that it was the holiday of the 1st and 2nd Infantry RegimentsThe Feast of the 1st and 2nd Rifle Regiments was celebrated on April 30 according to a new style, on the day of the Monks Zosima and Savvatiy Solovetsky.; but human eyes and trumpets did not announce this day today through the walls of the large palace. During the morning I thought about this. From 12 o'clock until dinner I gave Alexis geography lessons, took a walk and worked with Tatiana. The weather was clear and fine. The evening went as yesterday.
I saw the sailor Derevenko, who, lounging in an armchair, ordered the Heir to give him this or that. Alexei Nikolaevich ran around with sad and surprised eyes, fulfilling the orders. This Derevenko enjoyed the love of Their Majesties: for so many years they spoiled him and his family, showering them with gifts. I felt almost sick; I begged that they would rather take me away.
Дорогая нежно любящая Анастасия. Крепко буду молиться за тебя и Марию. С Богом все пройдет. Терпи и молись. Крепко целую тебя и Машку. Будь Богом хранима! Твой Алексей
It began to thaw. In the morning Beckendorf and Apraksin were with us; as they left they said goodbye. At 11:00 we went to Mass, Alix got up today. Olga and Tatiana are much better today, but Marie and Anastasia are worse. They have headaches and earaches and are vomiting, I took a short walk and worked in the garden for a while with Dolgorukov. After tea I continued to put my papers in order. In the evening we all gathered together.
You know, Aleksei Nikolaevich, your father no longer wants to be the Emperor.
My darling Papa, dearest one. I am sitting in a darkened room with Olga and Tatyana. They send you big kisses, they are lying down and not doing anything in particular. They both have a slight temperature. I have not been in to see Alexei, as he was still asleep. Maria and I are still well, and sitting with everybody in turn. I wonder when I will fall ill and which of us will fall ill first - myself or Maria?!
I love you terribly and send you big hugs and kisses! God bless you.
We have 2 in the infirmary. There was an operation, the re-amputation of a foot. After 5 o’clock we returned for tea. Alexey, thank God, is better. He’s not in pain. I stayed up with Shvybzik [Anastasia] again until 10 reading the papers. Mama doesn’t seem to mind. They’re all absorbed with Papa by a puzzle.
Alexei had ½ a syringe of morphine injected and has been sleeping since 6 o’clock.
The boy has fallen ill - a new worry for the Empress! The weather is very good these days. I’ll take a carriage for some fresh air.
Buried myself in magazines again. At 2.30 went for a walk with Father. Six degrees of frost. Aleksey is still bedridden. He feels very poorly. At 6 I went to see Anna, and until 7.45 we sat very comfortably by the fire. Mother is very tired.