Yesterday I received your letter and I thank you for it from my heart. It was such a joy to hear from you and to think how merciful is God to have given you this compensation. Your life in town must be more than unpleasant, confined in stuffy rooms, steep stairs to climb, no lovely walks possible, horrors all around you. Poor child! You know that in heart and soul I am near you, sharing all your pain and sorrow and praying for you fervently. See more
Every day I read the book you gave me seven years ago, "Day by Day," and like it very much. There are lovely passages in it. The weather is very changeable, frost, sunshine, then darkness and thawings. Desperately dull for those who enjoy long walks and are deprived of them. Lessons continue as usual. Mother and daughters work and knit a great deal, making Christmas presents. How time flies! In two weeks more it will be eight months since I saw you last. And you, my little one, so far away in loneliness and sorrow. But you know where to seek consolation and strength, and you know that God will never forsake you. His love is overall. On the whole, we are all well since I do not count chills and colds. Alexei's knee and arm swell from time to time, but happily without any pain. My heart has not been behaving very well. I read much, and live in the past, which is so full of rich memories. I have full trust in a brighter future. He will never forsake those who love and trust in His infinite mercy, and when we least expect it He will send help and will save our unhappy country. Patience, faith, and truth.
How did you like the two little colored cards? I have not heard from Lili Dehn for three months. It is hard to be cut off from all one's dear friends. I am so glad that your old servant and Nastia are with you, but where are the maids, Zina and Mainia? So Father Makari has left us. But he is really nearer than he was before. Our thoughts will be very close together next month. You remember our last journey and what followed. After this anniversary it seems to me that God will show mercy. Kiss Praskovia and the children for me. The maid Liza and the girls have not come yet. All of us send tenderest love, blessings, and kisses. God bless you, dearest friend. Keep a brave heart. P. S. I should like to send you a little food, some macaroni for instance.
We are all well. I have been suffering from neuralgia in the head but now Dr. Kostritzky has come to treat me. We have spoken often of you. They say that life in the Crimea is dreadful now. Still, Olga A. is happy with her little Tichon whom she is nursing herself. See more
They have no servants so she and N. A. look after everything. Dobiasgin, we hear, has died of cancer. The needlework you sent me was the only token we have received from any of our friends. Where is poor Catherine? We suffer so for all, and we pray for all of you. That is all we can do. The weather is bad these last few days, and I never venture out because my heart is not behaving very well. I get a great deal of consolation reading the Bible. I often read it to the children, and I am sure that you also read it. Write soon again. We all kiss and bless you. May God sustain and keep you. My heart is full, but words are feeble things.
My darling: We are thinking constantly of you and of all the suffering you have had to endure. God help you in the future. How are your weak heart and your poor legs? We hope to go to Communion as usual if we are to be allowed See more
. Lessons have begun again with Mr. Gibbs also. So glad, at last. We are all well. It is beautifully sunny. I sit behind this wall in the yard and work. Greetings to the doctors, the priest, and the nurses in your hospital. I kуiss you and pray God to keep you.
Grey morning and raining, later fine. At 10 ¼ - ¾ Tatiana - German reading. Then: Isaiah 58-65. Lunched with Baby. The wine crates brought to us were emptied into the river, following the wish of the garrison soldiers. See more
In avoidance of a row Bode has to remain several days still. This story turned up again, which is why we may not go to church. Pankratov did not allow the nuns to have tea at any of these houses.
When it began to get very cold, and the large hall became impossible, we took refuge in the adjoining room, which was Their Maj esties' drawing-room, the only really comfortable apartment in the house. The Czar would often read aloud while the Grand-Duchesses did needlework or played with us. The Czarina regularly played one or two games of beziqueBezique is a French intellectual card game for two. with General Tatichtchef and then took up her work or reclined in her armchair.
It’s so strange to not see the wounded, to be without this job. On August 28th it would have been three years since we started working at the hospital, but our resignation has ruined everything. But I still hope that maybe, if there’s a lot of work and not enough people, they will bring us back. But it’s just a fantasy - it won’t come true. See more
There’s enough nurses without us. But I doubt that any of them love this job as much as we did, I don’t know if any of them have this feeling of helping people, lessening their suffering. Sometimes you might hurt someone, offend someone unwillingly. All the surgeries are very interesting. How many new people we’ve met! My health wouldn’t allow me to visit other hospitals, which is a shame, and I regret that a lot, but I’ve had no strength for it this last year.
Meanwhile our life gradually settled down along definite lines, and by mobilising all our resources we managed to resume the education of the Czarevitch and two youngest Grand-Duchesses. The lessons began at nine o'clock, and were broken off from eleven to twelve for a walk, which was always shared by the Czar. See more
As there was no schoolroom, the lessons were given sometimes in the large hall on the first floor, sometimes in Alexis Nicolaievitch's room or mine. I lived on the ground floor in what had been the Governor's study. At one o'clock we all assembled for lunch. The Czarina, when she was not well, often took her meals in her own apartments with Alexis Nicolaievitch. About two o'clock we used to go out again and walk about or play until four.
Excellent weather. Got news that Anya Vyrubova, together with the others, should have been brought to the border, wherefrom she should have continued on her way to Sweden. During the trip she was detained and brought to Helsingfors, put aboard the “Polar Star” and in a few days was put in Sveaborg (fortress).
Today it was a little fresher. At 11 o'clock church services were held. We all liked the priest very much who offered the services for us and the four nuns who helped. Alix continued to stay in bed for reasons of caution.
It was a wonderful day — in the shade 19 degrees and on the balcony 36 degrees. Alexis's arm hurt. During the morning we spent an hour in the garden and during the afternoon two hours. Yesterday I began to read L'ile enchantée. During the evening we played dominoes, Alix, Tatiana, Botkin, and I. During tea time, a large thunderstorm came up. It was a moonlit night.
Since they did not allow us to go on the streets, we could not go to the 11 o'clock service at church. See more
After lunch we went into the garden for almost two hours; Alix went out, too. The weather was warm, and about 5 o'clock the sun came out; we sat on the balcony until 6:30. I continued to sort the photographs of my long journey.
I looked around this house and the other one, which is completely unprepared. I’ve been unpacking things and putting our rooms in order. Then I rested. There was a thunderstorm in the afternoon.
Alexis only slept a little. During the night he moved in with Alix. His ear was better, and his arm only ached a little now and then. MarieThird daughter of Nicholas II is better. The day became quiet. All morning I walked around the deck. See more
We went up the Tobol and put ashore on the left bank and went along the road and returned along the river with various difficulties but in a good mood. At 6 o'clock we returned to Tobolsk, and with a loud crash ran into the pier, breaking some of the railings on the side. The day was hot.
A little after 9 we left the Tura and entered the Tobol. We stopped twice to take on food and fuel. On one of these occasions the children went for a walk in the woods. I rose at around 3 as my cabin was very hot. After 6 we arrived at Tobolsk-on-Irtish. See more
We unloaded our things. The house was empty, dirty, and entirely unprepared for us to stay the night. We are once again on the boat, waiting for them to prepare our house and the other buildings.