It was a strange home-coming. The whole house was disorganised. The servants were still devoted to my interests, but food and fuel were difficult to obtain. I spent the morning of the next day lying on a couch in my dressing-room. I was really ill; the long strain had told, and Nature was now exacting her toll in the shape of occasional heart attacks.
The hours passed peacefully and slowly, but at ten o’clock in the evening the telephone rang, and my maid told me that the Commandant of the Equipage de la Garde wanted to speak to me. I was surprised and vexed. After the way in which certain officers had treated the Imperial Family, it was not agreeable for me to continue their acquaintance. However, I went to the ‘phone.
“Madame Dehn,” said a well-known voice, “have you actually come back from the Palace?”
“Yes, I returned to Petrograd a few days ago.”
“I heard that you had been placed under arrest. How is it then that you are at home?”
“Kerensky has given me permission to be with Titi. Cannot you, for my husband’s sake, and as one of his brother-officers, come over and see me?”
“Impossible,” answered the voice. “Look here, you can’t stay where you are.”
“Very well, since you order, I suppose I must obey, I’ll try and find somewhere else, as soon as I am rested.”
“You must go NOW.”
“I haven’t anywhere to go, and the child is ill.”
“Take him to an hotel. I won’t be responsible for your safety. Lots of things may happen during the night… The sailors may come and murder you.”
The Commandant then rang off, and left me to face this new terror. But my mind was made up. I would not leave home at a moment’s notice. If we had to die, we would die together. I was too exhausted, and the child was too ill, to contemplate a midnight flight. I rang up my husband’s nephew, who was in barracks, and he promised to keep me well advised; but fortunately the night passed peacefully. Nobody came near the house.
I’m afraid that the Empress’s speeches will reach the ears of the members of the government, who nevertheless are doing everything possible to help the Emperor’s family. I would like them to understand what I have known for a long time - that we are talking about the pathological state of the Empress! Only in this is her justification, and perhaps it will be her only salvation.
We created the "Parade" in a Roman wine cellar called "Cave Talioni". We walked in the moonlight with the ballerinas and visited Naples and Pompeii.
The first week we were in the war. I had been studying a map of European waters, had measured the distanced across the English Channel, across the North Sea from Scotland to Norway and across the Strait of Otranto at the mouth of the Adriatic. I had examined the depths of the waters in those places, and had come to the conclusion that some kind of barrier, if it could be worked out on the technical side, offered the proper strategical solution of keeping German submarines out of the Atlantic and out of the Mediterranean.
I had the leader of the "Cadet" party, Basil Maklakov, Princess Dolgoruky, Prince Scipio Borghese and Alexer Nicolaïevitch Benois, the painter and art critic, to lunch with me today.
Maklakov, who has seen as much of the revolution at close quarters as anyone, told us all about its beginnings.
"Not one of us," he said, " foresaw the immense scale of the movement; no one expected such a cataclysm. Of course we knew that the imperial regime was rotten; but we never suspected that it was as rotten as it has proved to be. That's why nothing was ready. I was discussing it only yesterday with Maxim Gorky and Cheidze; they haven't recovered from the shock even yet." See more
It was a nice warm day, I got up at 9:30 since I had slept poorly, I walked to Mass. 0. Afansy Belyaev held services for us in the camp church. At the confession were: Vasili, the confessor, the deacon, the sexton and four choir boys who managed their duties very well. See more
All Petrograd, in fact, turned out to acclaim the “Grandmother of the Revolution” on her homecoming from Siberia, where she had spent forty-four of her seventy-three years in exile. A vast crowd, waving red flags and singing the “Marseillaise”, extended down the west end of the Nevsky Prospect as far as the Nikolaevsk Railway Station. See more