28 December 1917. Alexandra Feodorovna → Anna Vyrubova

Non-fiction

Project 1917 is a series of events that took place a hundred years ago as described by those involved. It is composed only of diaries, letters, memoirs, newspapers and other documents

Alexandra Feodorovna Anna Vyrubova

Tobolsk, Russian Republic

It is bright sunshine and everything glitters with hoar frost. There are such moonlight nights, it must be ideal on the hills. But my poor unfortunates can only pace up and down the narrow yard. How I long to take Communion.

We took it last on October 22, but now it is so awkward, one has to ask permission before doing the least thing. Some thoughts one is obliged to drive away, they are too poignant, too fresh in one's memory. All things for us are in the past, and what the future holds I cannot guess, but God knows, and I have given everything into His keeping.

Where is your poor old Grandmamma? I often think of her in her loneliness, and of your stories, after you had been to see her. Who will wish you a happy Christmas on the telephone? Is it true that Protopopoff has creeping paralysis? Poor old man, I understand
that he has not been able to write anything yet, his experiences being too near. Strange are our lives, are they not? One could write volumes.

I am knitting stockings for the small one (Alexei). He asked for a pair as all his are in holes. Mine are warm and thick like the ones I gave the wounded, do you remember? I make everything now. Father's trousers are torn and darned, the girls' under-linen in rags. Dreadful, is it not? I have grown quite gray. Anastasie, to her despair, is now very fat, as Marie was, round and fat to the waist, with short legs. I do hope she will grow. Olga and Tatiana are both thin, but their hair grows beautifully so that they can go without scarfs.

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