I will never take power, I will never join a party, I will never make a choice, I have nothing to be proud of, I don’t understand anything.
I can whisper and sometimes—scream: leave me alone, it is not my business, when revolution is followed by reaction, when people, who don’t know how to live, who have lost their taste for life, first, surrender, and then get scared, then they start scaring and terrifying other people, who have not yet lost the taste, who have not yet “lived” in “civilisation,” who terribly want to live like the rich.
The height of “Bolshevism’s” insolence! Plunder and violence committed by the “comrades” have reached the apex of prehistoric savagery—soon, it seems, they will start eating each other. Cossacks and the cavalry are our only protectors from mass manifestations of revolutionary and plundering impulses of “free” Russian citizens! See more
Humanely, it is possible to love savages out of pity, but I cannot not feel an intense disgust towards them so that I can be their “comrade!!” They have begun shooting and beating up the “comrades,” to which they are reacting quite well. Never—not during the Japanese war, nor during the current campaign—have I carried a revolver with me, and am now taking it out form the bottom of the suitcase!
The situation is still the same. Terrible misfortunes at the front and other circumstances provoke a sharp reaction in us, but also in Germany. Times are dismal. Perhaps, I will also be arrested on charges of "incitement" or something like that. But it’s not important. See more
I'm ready to give a report on everything I've done. I was, am and will be an enemy of armed adventures, but I was, am, and will be a Social-Democrat-Internationalist. I can always fully answer for what I’ve actually done, but I will deny responsibility for what I couldn’t do because it would be against my political conscience.
There’s only one very strong, purely personal desire, and I would give anything for it to be fulfilled: to see you and Toto. But only leave when things get better. Someway. It's very hard to send money. I'm trying and trying. But I’m sure that I’ll be able to send some somehow, so when you receive this letter, you will already have it. I want to send 300 rubles now, but I hope to send more later. I’ll try to send 300 to 400 rubles every month. The main problem is not getting money--you can earn it, but to send it--that's what’s hard.
I love you terribly. I often reread your cheerful, courageous, wise, and gentle letters. I picture myself as you, try to remember every line, and my heart pours out with some kind of burning wave.
How happy we’ve been in recent years. But the terrible and the great in history is redeemed only by suffering. Our suffering is not in vain in the course of humanity. Besides, you believe like I do, that love and spirit are immortal. You just need them a bit more.
You are my only priceless ones. I’m very worried how you’ll go on without money. I'll do my best.
For the last two days bad information has come from the front. After our attack in Galicia, many units, thoroughly infected with bad defeatist teachings, not only refused to go forward but are retreating with no pressure from the enemy. See more
Making use of these favorable circumstances for themselves, the Germans and Austrians, though weak in strength themselves, made, a drive against southern Galicia so that they could force all the southwestern front to move east. It is disgraceful and disgusting. Today, finally, there was a declaration from the temporary government in the theater of military action. The death sentence is being introduced again against those guilty of treason to the government. It would seem that those measures were belated. The day became cloudy and warm.
In the hut we have immediately felt ourselves calmer. Life began to “normilise.” Around us there was no one for miles. Tired and exhausted by work and hardships, Vladimir Ilyich enjoyed involuntary rest for the first couple of days. See more
As much as the clandestine considerations allowed, he took walks, went swimming in Razliv, lay in the sun. In the meantime, two lines of communication were being established from the hut: one—with Petrograd, another—with Finland. The main focus was, of course, the first one.
The situation is hopeless. Never, even in 1915, it was not so bad, but I believe that the Revolution still has more resources.