Hardly had the Grand Duchess left the study when the door opened and the Empress appeared. Her face was distorted with agony, her eyes were full of tears. She tottered rather than walked, and I rushed forward and supported her until she reached the writing-table between the windows. She leant heavily against it, and, taking my hands in hers, she said brokenly:
“Ahdique!''
I could not believe my ears. I waited for her next words. They were hardly audible. At last:
“Le pauvre… tout seul la bas.. et passe… , oh, mon Dieu, par quoi il a passé! Et je ne puis pas etre pret de lui pour le consoler."
“Madame, tres chère Madame, il faut avoir du courage,"
She paid no attention to me, and kept on repeating,
“Mon Dieu, que c'est pénible… Tout seul la bas! "
I put my arms around her and we walked slowly up and down the long room. At last, fearing for her reason, I cried:
"Mais Madame—au nom de Dieu—il vit!"
“Yes, Lili,'' she replied, as if new hope inspired her. “Yes, he lives.''
“I entreat you, Madame, don't lose your courage, don't give way: think of your children and of the Emperor."
The Empress considered me with almost painful scrutiny.
“And you, Lili, what of you?"
“Madame, I love you more than anything in this world.”
“I know it—I see it, Lili.”
“Well, Madame, write to him. Think how pleased he will be." I drew the Empress towards the writing-table, and she sank on a chair.. “Write, dear Madame, write," I repeated. She obeyed almost like a child, murmuring,
“Yes, Lili . . . how glad he'll be.” Feeling that I might venture to leave the Empress for a few minutes, I went in search of Dr. Botkin, who gave me a composing draught for her.. But the Empress did not wish to take it, and it was only when I said: “For his sake, Madame," that she complied.
What is now happening in Russia will go down in history forever as one of its greatest events. Our grandsons and great-grandsons will speak of these days as of the beginning of a new era in the history of humanity.
Beloved, soul of my soul, my own wee one, ah, how my heart bleeding for you. Love, my Love – it will go well, it must and I don’t waver in my faith. Sweet Angel, oh, me loves you so -- always together, night and day – I feel what you are going through -- and your poor heart. God have mercy, give you strength and wisdom. He won't forsake you. He will help, recompense this mad suffering and separation at such a time when one needs being together. See more
I have never witnessed – and, in all likelihood, will never witness again – a degree of moral forbearance as great as that exhibited by Her Majesty and her children. “You know, Anya,” said the Empress, “it’s all over for Russia now that the Emperor has abdicated, but we must condemn neither the Russian people nor the troops: the blame does not lie with them.” The Empress knew only too well who was responsible for this atrocity.
A heavy burden has been placed on me by the will of my brother, who has transferred to me the Imperial Throne of all the Russias, at this time of unprecedented hostilities and civil disturbances. See more
So, the matter with Michael Alexandrovich [Nicholas II’s youngest brother] has been settled. As he was leaving, Kerensky gave the Grand Duke a firm handshake and said “you are a noble man”.
Citizens! In our current capacity, the cabinet will adhere to the following principles:
1.Full and immediate amnesty in all cases, religious and political, including terrorist attacks, military revolts and agrarian crimes, and so on. See more
Slept long and deeply. Awoke far beyond Dvinsk. The day was sunny and frost. Talked with my people about yesterday. Read a lot about Julius Caesar. At 8.20 I arrived in Mogilev. All the staff of headquarters were on the platform. I received Alexeev in the compartment. By 9.30 I managed to get over to the house. Alexeev arrived with the latest news from Rodzianko. See more
Dear A. M.,
We have just received the second set of government telegrams about the revolution of March in Petrograd. A week of bloody battles by the workers—and Milyukov + Guchkov + Kerensky in power!! On the “old” European pattern.... See more
The staff officers continue to guzzle and gobble – mindlessly and uncontrollably; how insignificant their spiritual baggage, and how mighty their bellies! Which side would these heroes support in the event of a coup? Whichever one seems physically strong in their eyes, of course – and whichever one happens to be personally expedient for them to back!
Moses proved the truth with his simple laws, Christ proved the truth of his teaching, but their truths remained unproven, because they still are not understood.
On the second day we heard the worst news we could imagine: the Tsar had abdicated! It seemed so extraordinary that we could scarcely believe it. It was not, it could not be, true! Why should the Tsar have abdicated? What purpose had he in doing so? See more